Bio(hazard)graphy

Since you're here, you probably read one of Mike's stories... or saw his picture up at the post office. Keep reading, if you're curious. And if you're not, keep reading anyway. What else are you doing with your life?

Mike McHone is an American writer, former journalist, and kinda/sorta

part-time musician. Feel free to be impressed.
 

Mike was born in Monroe, Michigan, a small city, nestled in the geographical

taint between Detroit, Michigan and Toledo, Ohio. He is an only child

because perfection has no competition. He currently resides in the Metro

Detroit area. Why he resides in the Metro Detroit area is beyond him.

His parents were avid readers, which was odd because both of them were

illiterate. Elmore Leonard and Kinky Friedman were among his father’s favorites,

while Edgar Allan Poe and Joyce Carol Oates were his mother’s. He has cited

these writers as influences along with Gregory Mcdonald, Harlan Ellison,

Flannery O’Connor, Ray Bradbury, John Steinbeck, and whoever it was that wrote the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader books.
 

Writing Career (or a Reasonable Facsimile Thereof)

After graduating high school in the mid-90's, McHone moved from location to location over the next eight years and held jobs in factories, retail shop, security, and sales. When he wasn't employed, which was often, he kept busy by being lazy, drunk, and playing with bands in the Detroit and Toledo area. He once auditioned for the lead guitarist position for the heavy metal band Anthrax. He didn't get the gig, which is obvious because he turned to writing as a vocation. Lucky him.

A few months after enrolling in a community college in 2003, McHone was invited to write for the school newspaper where his articles were spotted by editors at various newspapers throughout the southeastern Michigan, northwest Ohio, and northeast Indiana markets which led to a career in freelancing. Within the year, McHone had secured a position as a full time reporter, as well as a music critic and editor for the award-winning magazine Clamor in Toledo, and columnist for the short-lived, but oh-so-fondly remembered music magazine The Record out of Detroit.

By 2014 his work had appeared in The AV Club, Neo-Opsis Science Fiction Magazine, The Detroit News, The Toledo Blade, Hustler, and Playboy. 

And just for clarification, he submitted jokes and short stories to Hustler and Playboy, not pictures. Don't get excited.

Recently

In 2018, frustrated that many of his stories and novel proposals weren’t being published, he tried his hand at crime fiction. That summer and autumn he wrote "This Used to be a Quiet Town," "From Green to Red," "A Drive-by on Chalmers Road?" and "K. O'Connor," the first four stories in a series dubbed The Midport Mysteries. All of these stories found homes in the pages of Mystery Weekly, Ellery Queen, Mystery Tribune, and are forthcoming in Sherlock Holmes Mystery Magazine and Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine

F.A.Q. (Friggin' Annoying Questions)

Question: So, how do you pronounce your last name?

Answer: McHone. As in “Mick”-“Hone.” Not MaHone, MaHome, Mahoney, or Michonne. 
 

What do you like to write?

Words mostly, sometimes numbers.


 

Hey! Do you want to read this new novel, short story, novella, poem, or grocery list I’m working on?

Hey! No.


 

Dude, why not?

Dude, because I’m:

a.) too busy working on my own stuff

b.) reading something else that’s already been published

c.) not interested because it might suck

d.) not interested because it might be a work of genius and I’d get jealous

e.) both a and c

f.) both b and d

g.) both q and x


Bro, did you know you’re kind of a dick?

Bro, yes.


 

Where were you born?

In Monroe, Michigan, in a hospital, just outside my mother’s vagina. The uterus got cramped so I needed to move.



Are you active on social media?!

 

No. I decided a few years ago that time on the internet was best spent seeking out more intelligent fair. Porn, for instance.


 

Do you still have your social media crap online?

 

It’s out there, like my old Twitter account and my old Blogger account, but they (unlike your mother) haven’t been entered and played with for quite sometime.


 

Aside from your stuff, do you have any stories you’d recommend reading?

 

Yes. Good ones.


 

Can I have your personal address so I can send you a letter or package?

 

Ha! Funny!


 

No, seriously.

 

Are you stupid?


 

If you were stranded on a desert island, what wo-

Stop. Just… stop.

Any advice for writers?

 

Yeah. Write something. Then try to get it published. If it gets published, hooray. If not, it more than likely means your writing needs to improve or it just wasn't meant to be. Either way, move on, write another story and submit that one. Repeat as desired.

Seriously?

Yeah, seriously.


 

Really?

How are you not getting this?


 

The earliest known photograph of the author.